


Freedom of an Empire

by Darkflame1808



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Graphic injuries, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kidnapping, Malnourishment, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rescue, Slavery, Starvation, The galra suck, Torture, Trauma, no beta we die like men, shiro needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23220220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkflame1808/pseuds/Darkflame1808
Summary: After "The Fine Print", the Paladins have been put under the rule of the Galra, their leader lost and suffering alone.[Abandoned]
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro
Comments: 15
Kudos: 13





	1. The Physical Part

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skalidra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skalidra/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Fine Print](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302747) by [Skalidra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skalidra/pseuds/Skalidra). 



> Okay, warnings in advance. Some graphic descriptions of injury and what has happened to some of the characters. Also, you need to have read The Fine Print by Skalidra or this probably won't make sense. Awesome pic that is :)  
> Also, I do not own any of these characters, all rights to the Voltron Creators and artists.

The sky was a bleak blend of brown and grey. The drill was heavy over his shoulder as he and his group advanced toward the newest shaft that had been dug out. The chains clanked like the bells of doom around their ankles, and under the eyes of guards their heads must be lowered, shoulders hunched. The perfect picture of submission and obedience. 

He thought they had made the right choice. But was it? To condemn their leader to a life in the hands of those that had subjugated him for so long before. The very source of his trauma and the scars that littered his body. What right did they have to seal his fate? To ensure he stayed alive, but was that so much better for him than for him to just be dead? 

“Hurry up, Keith,” Lance muttered behind him. “We’re gonna get in trouble if you keep lagging and making the rest of us slow.”

Time to shove aside the guilt. His shoulder still reminds him of where Shiro had managed to injure him. Looking back on the whole fight, the fact that all they came away with was two scars for the whole team showed how Shiro never intended to kill, or even severely injure them. His shoulder was sometimes a bit tight, but it was never painful. Annoying, yes, but not ever debilitating. What they had managed to do back also showed how Shiro was letting them through. The fact they got even one hit in was evidence of his mercy.

Why had they ever thought he would’ve taken any sort of deal? His words before the match had scared all of them. They thought he would truly try to hurt them. To find out that everything he did was in self defense, and in hindsight, defending them, it carved something out of Keith’s heart that he didn’t think could ever truly be fixed. 

The four of them and the other aliens a part of their sector entered the newest mine shaft. Keith set the massive drill to one side, allowing Pidge to start working with it. She had gotten so much smaller. All of them had. The malnourishment, combined with the poor work and sleep conditions led to all of them shedding weight like dog fur. It meant Pidge could barely pick up most of the heavier mining tools, and so was forced to work on the larger machines. Lucky for her, she was good at it, and was in her element doing it. The work almost seemed like an escape away from where they are for her. 

For the rest of them, they were forced to carve the precious minerals out of the walls of the planet that had recently been devastated by Galran rule. All of their hair had gone shaggy, and Keith’s had grown to his shoulder blades. Each of the boys had developed muscles none of them had ever had before; a result of the strenuous nature of mine work. 

They knew they were lucky. They hadn’t been killed, nor had they been forced into the gladiator pits. They got the best deal they could’ve, all things considered. None of them knew what had happened to their lions in the end. But Keith could still feel Red. Just slightly, and only ever faintly. 

She hadn’t been happy since the capture. 

Overall, team morale was low. They all carried the weight of their actions in the fight on their shoulders. They all keenly felt the loss of the one they had leaned on since finding the Blue Lion. And none of them knew what had really happened to their leader. They all hoped that he was just in a cell somewhere, but they all knew that the likelihood of that was low. 

Before Keith could continue to stew, he was shoved forward, barked at by a guard, and finally got to work. 

-+-+-+-

They were so close. The planet was in sight.

The Paladins had been gone too long.

-+-+-+-

Hunk didn’t know what was happening. One minute, he was mining, doing as they did every day since that horrible fight. He had the scar across his chest to show from that awful day. He doesn’t think he can ever forgive himself for what they did in that arena. How Shiro had lived with the memories of that awful place since escaping, he had no idea. Maybe because he didn’t know the people he was fighting? Hunk wasn’t sure, but he knows that his own heart hurts everyday with the knowledge of the decision the team made. To brutally attack and nearly kill the one person who had always trusted them and had faith in them. Who had always been there to lean on and had already been through so much at the claws of the Galra. 

Snap out of it! Focus on reality. They were hunkered down as deep as the mine went, two guards standing before their group. Pidge was trembling against him, and Lance’s breaths had picked up since the barrage began. The whole ground shook with whatever was happening outside. It sounded similar to explosions. 

Hope blossomed in his chest. Maybe someone was here for them? Maybe they finally got to leave this hell hole?

Please let that be the case. 

-+-+-+-

The siege was going well. The planet surface was rid of all guards. Allura and Coran had been able to rally a good number of people to rescue the Paladins. Among them were the Balmerans, a group of rebel Galrans part of some group known as the Blade of Marmora, and another group of rebel fighters comprised of former prisoners of the Empire. Among the last group was Pidge’s brother, who had panicked upon hearing that Pidge was one of the Paladins. 

The alliance had managed to completely clear the whole camp and surrounding areas of Galra fighters, which only left the ones in the mines. Allura got everyone back together to devise the next part of the plan. 

Time to get the Paladins back.

-+-+-+-

Lance couldn’t control his heart rate. It was erratic and not beating correctly. It felt like a hummingbird was flying around in his chest, but would stop flapping every now and again as his heart skipped beats. 

There was yelling coming from the tunnel’s entrance. The sounds of troops ordering a surrender. But the Galra weren’t going to give up that easily. Victory or Death and all that jazz. So instead of raising their hands like good little soldiers, the guards raised their guns higher, preparing to shoot the first person that came down the tunnel. 

But even as it was all happening around him, he could never forget Shiro’s last words to him.  _ "It’s okay. Take the shot. Do what you have to."  _

He hadn’t forgotten that. It had shocked him at the time. Why would Shiro be saying that if he was fighting for his own freedom? But the leader had fallen unconscious before Lance had managed to act, his blood staining the dirt of the arena.

Lance shook his head. No use getting lost in the memories right now. Keith shot him a look, eyebrows drawn together and concern in his eyes. Lance just shook his head, praying that his heart rate would calm down some. 

He looked up to face the entrance of the tunnel again, and saw that the guards were moving forward, weapons raised. But two shots were let off further up the hall, and the guards collapsed, a blaster mark scorched into each of their heads. Two people followed the bodies down, both with masks covering their faces and guns still raised. All the prisoners shrank before them, but after they surveyed the cave, they lowered their weapons. One of the potential rescuers ripped off their mask, shaggy blond hair falling from it, and a young face with a small scar by their eye being revealed.. 

A yelp comes from the other side of Hunk, and Lance watches as Pidge jumps to her feet, eyes brimming with tears.

“Matt?” 

“Katie!”

The soldier person runs forward and sweeps Pidge into his arms, falling to his knees with her clutched to his chest. “Matt, oh my God, you’re here, you’re-you’re” Lance can hear her sobbing. His heart both swells and aches seeing them. He’s happy for them, of course he is. But it makes him long for his own family, and for Shiro. They’ve all felt the gap in the team without their leader. 

The pair hugs for a while, with the other rescuer freeing each prisoner of their chains. For the first time in months, Lance felt there was hope. If Zarkon did hold up his end of their deal, then maybe Shiro was still alive, maybe he was okay.

They had to find out.

-+-+-+-

Allura just about cried when she saw the four Paladins emerge, Pidge holding her brother’s arm tightly in her own. They were so thin and gaunt looking, paler than she had ever seen them, but they were alive. Their eyes were dulled and muscles on the boys where there hadn’t been before. They looked sickly.

But they were alive.

Except one was missing. 

Once they all got close enough she brought them all into a hug, and they collapsed to a heap on the ground. Tears are shed and a few of them sob, in relief or in sorrow for what has been done, she’s not sure. 

After a while, they manage to compose themselves enough to stand again, meeting her eyes. She gathers herself too, and sees that everyone is back from collecting prisoners. She chances a glance at Keith, whose eyes are darker than she’s seen them before. He’ll have the answer she is looking for.

“Keith.” His back straightens as she addresses him. “Where’s Shiro?”

And that cloud rolls over all four of them. None of them speak, and Hunk hangs his head. Panic strikes. “Where is Shiro? Why is he not with you four?”

“Princess-” Lance starts, reaching out, but she moves away from his hand. 

“Where. Is. He?”

“We-we had to,” comes Hunk’s voice, low, soft and full of tears. Full of guilt. She can just about see it sitting on his shoulders. 

“Had to what?” Asks Matt gently, his own interest piqued. He hadn’t been told that Shiro had even escaped, let alone gotten recaptured. 

“Zarkon, he gave us a deal,” starts Keith. “We-we were told to betray Shiro in order to keep himself and us alive. We were promised that he would live, but it would be a life separate from our own. And he would never know of the deal, only that we were the ones to turn on him. We think he was offered something similar.” Keith’s voice holds strong, but Allura notices the shaking of his left hand. 

What has happened to her Paladins?

“Well, we need to find him then,” she decides. “C’mon, let’s get everyone onto the ship. We can carry everyone, there’s enough room. Heal those that need it.”

“Thank you, Princess,” one of the other prisoners speaks up. 

“Of course. And let’s go find our Black Paladin.”

-+-+-+-

His master was gone for now. It meant that he had a brief reprieve from his good behaviour. Now was the time for calm.

He went to the bathroom, and started to carry out his master’s orders before the purple emperor returned. But half way through cleaning the sink his knees buckled. Whether it was from the lack of food (a punishment due to bad behaviour three days ago), or because of his broken tibia, he wasn’t sure, but the result was the same. 

He landed awkwardly, trying to reduce the pain in his leg as he collided with the ground, even as it shot fire through his veins. With shaking arms and heaving breath, he attempted to push himself up, only to fail as his dislocated elbow failed him and he met the ground again. Panic began to overwhelm him. If his master found him here, he would be punished more severely. He had to get up.

But he couldn’t. He started to scrabble at the gag covering the bottom half of his face, the metal not giving way to his one hand. He was lucky he did not have to move his elbow for this, that he had landed in a way where his hand was mere centimetres from his face. A scream ripped out of him and into the air. He needn’t worry about being heard; the walls within his master’s quarters were entirely soundproof. Nothing ever escaped.

Including him.

So he screamed. The shrill sound echoed through the bathroom, assaulting his ears as he grieved. He grieved for the ones he was not strong enough for, he grieved for the team he had allowed to get captured. 

Really, he grieved for both teams he let get captured.

He had failed them both. Even if the Holts had made it, he had managed to screw it up again, to get another, much younger, much more inexperienced team caught. Even after everything he had been through in the arena in his lost year, he wasn’t able to protect his young teammates. Every night when he closed his eyes he could see the pain in Hunk’s and Keith’s faces, the betrayal behind their eyes, the desperation shown by each and every one of his former teammates. He can taste the blood. They must hate him. For hurting them. For him being the cause of the mess they were all in.

He didn’t even know if they were still alive. 

But either way, he had caused them so much pain. He had put those looks into their eyes. Hopefully Lance wasn’t blaming himself. He had tried to reassure the boy before he had blacked out, but he wasn’t sure if Lance believed him, or if he had heard him. 

God, he had made so many mistakes.

He shook himself, forcing himself out of his reverie. He must get back up. The unit must be clean by the time his master gets back. He barely managed to haul himself to his feet, using his good leg, and his broken leg, to push himself to his feet, steadying himself with his shoulder against the wall, even as it shot bolts of lightning down his arm. 

It took time, but he eventually finished his duties. He went back to the front door of the quarters and knelt down, head hung, ready for his master’s return. 

Suddenly, the ship jolted to one side. He felt something stir deep within him, a presence not his own. Something he recognised from what seemed to be a lifetime ago. She roared within him, a desperation overcoming her as she reached out to her paladin. She could feel his pain, what he had been through since their capture. She could feel it all, and anger burst into vengeful flames within her. It would not go on.

He gasped, unprepared for the onslaught of emotion. He had thought her dead, or destroyed, or under the Galra’s rule. Under his master’s rule. What was happening that she only woke up now?

The ship jolted again, sending him sprawling across the floor, his everything lighting up in pain, laser sharp and coursing through every muscle. His back burned with the fire of the lashings, his elbow and leg crying out at him for the continual abuse. He just about blacked out.

She roared within him again, her presence swelling within his chest and mind as she tried to sooth her cub. She too had thought him dead. 

The door before him burst open, and four figures in white came running in. Galra blood stained the usually pristine uniforms, changing them into the uniforms of soldiers rather than the young cadets he knew. Behind them followed three more, another with white hair tightly wound into a familiar bun, the other bright orange with a horrendous mustache that he had never been happier to see. And one he thought he had lost. Forever. Even before this particular mess. A new scar adorned his cheek, but it was him.

Matt Holt.

So Katie had found him. Maybe that meant they had escaped from the Galra after their fight in the arena. Maybe it meant they hadn’t been subjugated by the Galra. But, upon closer inspection, he could see how each of the paladins didn’t look healthy in the slightest. They all had gaunt faces, cheekbones prominent, and eyes seemingly sunk in, swallowed by the dark rings each carried around their usually life filled eyes. 

What had he done?

She was horrified at the thought. Her cub had not caused this. This was not the young one’s fault. It had been out of his control. How could he possibly think like that?

He didn’t have the answers for her, only had a deep certainty that it was true. That he had been the one to cause his former team such harm. 

As they got closer, his mind finally decided there was too much happening. The combination of pain, emotion, her, and the people in front of him mixed into a melting pot of too much. 

His eyes rolled back in his head, and he was out so fast he didn’t feel the extra shot of pain as his body hit the deck.

-+-+-+-

What had they let happen?

Shiro was pale, almost grey, his cheekbones protruding from his face, deep bags hanging below his eyes. The scar across his nose looked worse, as though it had been reopened not too long ago. His arm was hanging awkwardly from its socket, and one of his legs seemed to be the wrong shape. Their leader was in Galra prisoner attire, the shred of a shirt hanging from his once wide shoulders, dwarfing him in a way they had never seen before. The once toned muscles had shrunk to the bare minimum. And that wasn’t even mentioning the mask that covered the bottom half of his face, including his nostrils. It looked as though it stopped him talking and breathing through his mouth, and could be changed to stop him breathing through his nose. 

It could kill him.

They all rushed forward when he collapsed, desperate to check over him themselves. They had known it would be bad, but none of them expected this. They hadn’t rushed him when they first entered the room in an effort to not scare him, but there was no fear of doing that now. 

Guilt swirled in Pidge’s stomach. They had sealed his fate. They were the reason he was this way, they were the reason that he had suffered for so long. If they had just talked to him, or something, they could’ve avoided this. But here they were, unable to erase the past months and the horrors committed to and endured by their leader. 

To find him across the ground when they first entered was a shock. His state and health was another. But the worst was the fear in his eyes right before he blacked out. What had they done?

“Quickly, we need to get him out of here,” Allura told them. Keith nodded, and went to haul him up, but Matt stepped forward. It was so good to see him. She had been beginning to lose hope that they would find him, and that they themselves would be found. Before Matt picked up the unconscious leader, he dug his fingers in under the sides of the mask, finding the release mechanism. Carefully, he released it, and sighed in relief when Shiro took an unobstructed breath. Her brother leaned down, easily gathering Shiro to him, tucking the dislocated arm into his own chest and wincing at the place where his right arm ended. He nodded to Allura who began to lead them out. Lance joined her at the front, bayard raised and at the ready. Keith joined her with flanking the group, bayards at the ready.

Each of them had felt their Lions truly awaken when they had boarded the ship. They had all decided they needed to get the Lions as soon as they had Shiro. So they followed the pull to their Lions. Allura and Coran left them there, heading back to the Castle. Mat followed the Paladins, Shiro in his arms. Unlike the idiot, he wasn’t going to carry him over his shoulder like he had apparently done to Lance when the Castle was attacked, according to the footage he had watched on the way over. He was a bit more mindful than that.

They made it to the hangars with few disturbances. They had managed to avoid Zarkon for the time being, but he would be reaching his quarters soon to discover no Shiro. They needed to leave now. 

As a group, they had managed to take out many sentries and soldiers, so it wasn’t too hard of a trip to the hangar. Once there, they entered their respective Lions, Pidge relishing in the soothing emotions that Green was projecting at her through their bond. She had thought the beast lost when they had been captured. She had feared the worst. But her Lion assured her now that she had never left her cub. She had been there through the hours of pain and inner turmoil since the capture. She knew of it all. 

Matt carried Shiro into the Black Lion, her mouth open, eagerly awaiting the arrival of her Paladin after so long. He stared in awe at the craft of the ship before him, but something inside him told him to look at it as more than a ship. There seemed a… presence, within it. 

He placed Shiro against a wall of the ship, but something growled at him, and he knew that where he had put Shiro was not deemed as acceptable. He glanced around, wondering where else he was meant to set the unconscious man, his eyes falling to the pilot seat. But didn’t Matt himself need to pilot it? Shiro was dead to the world, and pretty badly injured from the initial assessment. The growl came again, and so Matt hoisted up the limp body, being very gentle when placing Shiro into the pilot seat. 

The console lit up.

“You can’t seriously expect him to pilot,” Matt murmured, looking out through the wide view screen. 

The growl rings through the cockpit, and the ship suddenly lurches forward. The hangar bay doors open, and Matt has to hold tight to the side of the pilot chair to stop himself from falling over. When he manages to look up again, the Lion has leapt forward and they are free into the vacuum of space. He looks around and sees the other four Lions next to them.

The entire floor vibrates beneath him as the Black Lion lets loose a massive roar that the other four Lions join onto. And, even though the sound is lost to the vacuum, it resonates within his heart.

Before he can get too distracted by the sight of near freedom, Matt turns back to Shiro, and, seeing him slumped over in the pilot chair, stumbles over and attempts to stabilise him. The Castle isn’t too far ahead.

“Almost there, bud, almost home,” Matt whispers to the still unconscious Shiro, pressing his forehead up against the other man’s, eyes closing. 

They’re free. 

  
  



	2. Abandoned chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. I am so so sorry about this, but I am abandoning this work, it won't be finished. I completely lost my mojo on this piece and have revisited it time and again, and cannot find the creativity or drive to do it justice. So, have what I did manage to write, though it's not the quality I like to produce. As said really sorry to anyone who was holding out on this, but I have been overwhelmed with a declining mental health and a nightmare year at home and at school. So, sorry. If anyone want to pick this up, you are welcome to (though please confirm with the author of the OG fic to ensure it's all good). Thanks for sticking around, and I do hope you enjoyed what I did manage to write. Thanks guys :)

_ “Master, I-I’m s-sorr-ry,” he stammered, hand shaking as he looked at the pieces scattered across the floor in front of him. His head stayed bowed, not daring to make eye contact with his Emperor. He had learned last time that doing such a thing only yields pain. It’s why his back has new scars, added on top of his ones from the Arena. “I-I’ll fix it, I-’ll make i-it-t be-b-bett-er-” _

_ He was sprawled across the floor before he knew what was happening, his cheek burning and eyes tearing up as the backhand registered. “Quiet, slave.” He was grabbed by the jaw and dragged to his feet and into the air. His eyes scrunched shut on instinct, teeth clenching as his whole weight hung from his neck. The Emperor studies his face and the way that he is gripping at his master’s hand around his jaw.  _

_ He’s thrown to the ground, his back screaming at him, blood seeping into the rags he wears. His master kneels before him, and then it's over his face again. That… thing. His breathing speeds up, and cuts off before he can get enough oxygen to last. He can feel his lungs spasming as he attempts to breathe through the mask. His mouth is forced shut, and the prongs up his nose allow through no air. “You will not speak without permission, slave,” the Emperor demands, rising to his full height once again, eyes downcast as he looks upon the writhing mess on the floor. A smile curves across his face, fangs peaking through his lips.  _

_ A foot slams down on the slave’s leg. He tries to scream in pain, a noise emitting from his throat, but no air being released. He continues to struggle for air, black dots dancing in his vision. Pain lances through his leg, winding up and through the rest of his body. “That, that is for breaking the cup. You break anything else, and I’ll break something back. Got it?”  _

_ He nods his head frantically, one arm scraping at the gag across his mouth. He can’t see straight anymore, and he can feel his limbs slowing, heartbeat hammering in his ears.  _

_ “Good, maybe next time you’ll remember.” _

_ The Emperor walks out of the room, leaving the slave to continue writhing, lungs and throat spasming, tears collecting along the edge of the muzzle and spilling onto the floor. He makes one last attempt to rip the thing off, but he knows. He knows it won't release. Not until his master allows it.  _

_ The black spots fill his vision, and he feels his body finally stopping as his eyes flutter shut, pain firing through his veins from his leg and now, his chest as he finally succumbs to blissful unconsciousness.  _

-+-+-+-

Finally. The pod’s glass melts away, sinking back into wherever it comes from. Shiro’s eyes snap open, panic clear as day in them. His pupils are dilated and breathing fast as he collapses forward out of the pod. Luckily, four Paladins are there to catch him, helping to steady him and get him settled into Keith’s arms. Even when they get him to the ground he continues to thrash, his one hand clawing at his face. They manage to pin his hand to his side, but their leader continues to struggle, thrashing in Keith’s grasp.

And he’s saying something.

Keith leans in, hoping to be able to hear what his adopted older brother is saying. He manages to hear a small whisper. “Please, stop, get it off, please-” Shiro whimpers, continuing his struggle against his team mates. 

Hunk makes eye contact with Keith, and they switch, with Hunk being able to pin Shiro’s arm to his side without Lance’s help, and wrapping his own legs around the flying limbs of the black paladin. Even after the weight loss in the mines, Hunk is bigger than the other paladins by far, and is able to pin their weak leader. 

Slowly, Matt steps forward, syringe in hand. “We need to calm him down,” the Holt reasons. “This will do it fast.” Hunk nods and manages to maneuver Shiro so that he can hold the recently healed arm against Shiro and free up his other arm. Using his now freed arm, Hunk pushes Shiro’s head to the side, exposing his neck, and more importantly, his trapezius muscle. Matt carefully sticks the needle in, injecting Shiro with a sedative. 

It takes a few minutes, but eventually Shiro calms down, his eyelids fluttering in a vain attempt to stay open. “No-” he whispers, sounding choked. “Please, no-” and he finally passes out. 

Everyone lets out a collective breath, all of their muscles loosening as Shiro falls limp in Hunk’s grip. “How about we get him to a proper bed?” Allura suggests. They all nod, but make no move to stand, each of them trying to reconcile the memory of their fierce leader to the man who just had a major panic attack in Hunk’s arms. 

Coran finally stes forward and extracts Shiro from Hunk’s embrace, smoothly lifting the dead weight into a bridal carry. Everyone follows the Altean as he leaves the room, matching his pace through the infirmary wing of the Castle. He finds a bed to lay the sleeping man on, and carefully places a blanket over him. They work out a plan for watch duties, and once it’s all settled, Coran orders everyone else to bed. They had been up early that morning, knowing that Shiro was due to wake at some point during the day. Really, they were all exhausted. 

Everyone was sent away, except for Pidge, who was designated as first watch. 

Time to settle in. 

-+-+-+-

It was a familiar face Shiro woke up to. The sedative had ensured a restful, dreamless sleep for the rescued man. Matt was reading over Shiro’s medical record on a data pad, eyebrows knitted together as he looked over the list of previous injuries and recorded scars that Coran had managed to find whenever Shiro was in the infirmary. Of course, the leader didn’t know about the extensive medical histories the Altean had been putting together, but he did know that the Alteans knew of some of the medical conditions. They needed to in case any of them got injured. But Coran had made sure to get to know the paladin’s pasts with injuries so that if any issue arose, he may be able to treat them better. 

Matt heard a small groan come from the man, causing his eyes to flicker up and watch as Shiro struggled into wakefulness. Slowly, and carefully, Matt set the data pad down on the bedside table, being careful to not startle the black paladin. However,he was unsuccessful,as Shiro just about jumped a foot in the air from the sound of the pad hitting the metal of the table. His head snapped around, eyes locking with Matt’s before darting down to the ground. His mouth stayed firmly clamped shut, and his arm, which had flung out to steady him in case of attack, had been moved back towards his body. In short, he looked nothing short of completely submissive. 

“Shiro?” Matt tried, scooting his chair closer so that he could reach out if he so desired, but not so close as to make Shiro feel crowded. “Shiro are you hearing me? Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Dark eyes slowly climbed their way up, making contact with Matt’s own before tearing away again. He looked as though he was going to say something, but kept his mouth shut. “Shiro, could you nod your head if you understand what I’m saying?” he tried again, voice gentle and low in volume. 

Shiro’s head nodded slowly and jerkily. He was cautious, Matt could tell. He almost seemed as if he’d been conditioned. 

“Okay, that’s good. That’s perfect Shiro. Can you nod or shake your head in response to a few questions?”

Once again, the short, jerky nod came, and Matt’s heart slowed a bit. Crisis over, he was able to at least communicate with Shiro. “Shiro, we’re on the Castle right now, in the infirmary. We got you away from Zarkon. Do you understand?”

A nod.

“Good. All the paladins are safe, we rescued them from a mining planet. They are all safe and okay. You understand?”

Shiro nodded again, and his shoulders relaxed a little. Good.

“My dad is fine, he’s with the rebel group I’m a part of, but he has trouble moving around well now. He’s more of a techy, not really into the whole fighting thing. He’s on his way at the moment. We’re all okay.”

He nodded once more before stilling, eyes coming to rest on the edge of the bed he was sitting on. “Shiro?” Matt called gently. The older man looked up again before flinching so violently he almost fell off the bed. “What are you thinking about?”

He stayed silent, looking up at Matt from below his hair, eyes flickering to his eyes and away. Matt cocked his head as he studied his friend. Even when they were imprisoned the first time, Shiro had never looked like this. He had never looked… defeated. 

“Shiro, you can speak. Actually, please speak. Tell me what’s happening in that big brain of yours,” Matt coaxed, worried that his friend was seemingly refusing to talk.

But a look of relief washed across Shiro’s features, and his shoulders uncurled a little. “I-I…” he clears his throat and tries again. “Thank you,” he rasped, voice hoarse from disuse, or from screaming, Matt’s not sure. “Speaking without permission results in punishment,” Shiro says calmly, as though that explains it well and as though it doesn’t send a spear through Matt’s chest. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to the team, and I understand that they don’t want to see me. Could you tell them I’ll be leaving soon?”

Matt’s heart stops.

“What?! Shiro! You can’t leave!” Shiro flinches away as Matt bursts to his feet, the usually stoic man cowering in on himself as Matt towers over him. Immediately, Matt’s rage clears and he lets out a deep sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair before lowering himself onto the bed beside Shiro. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry.”

“No, I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have upset you. Please, accept my apologies.” Shiro’s tone was pleading, almost as if he were begging Matt to forgive him of some wrongdoing. 

“Shiro, you didn’t do anything wrong.” The black paladin shakes his head, causing another sigh to bubble up out of Matt. Slowly, he reaches over to card his fingers through Shiro’s hair, which has grown out and falls past his eyes and below his ears. “Takashi, look at me.”

Immediately, his eyes snap up to meet Matt’s, the rims darkening to a shade of red as he tries to hold back tears. Whether they’re of fear or sadness, or something else, Matt isn’t sure. “Takashi, you did nothing wrong. And the team doesn’t hate you, or anything like that. Whatever you think you’ve done, they don’t hold it against you. They’re actually very concerned about you. Do you think you could see them? Just to say hello, reassure them a bit? They were very scared after finding you again.”

Shiro nods, eyes clearer than they had been since he had woken up. “They would be scared,” he whispers. “I hurt them, they had to fight me, I-I hurt them. They deserve to hear the apology from me, not-not through you. That isn’t right. Then I’ll leave.” He nods to himself, meeting Matt’s eyes briefly before those haunted greys flitted away again. 

“Shiro, that’s not what I meant. They were scared  _ for _ you when they found you,” Matt tries to explain, but Shiro didn’t seem to be listening anymore. “How about I just go get them? You can see for yourself.”

Once again, Shiro nods, but his eyes are distant and his face unchanging. Matt sighs and stands, walking to the comm unit on the wall and calling for the other Paladins, his own eyes never leaving the subtly trembling form on the bed. 

-+-+-+-

All the other Paladins were sitting in the rec room, awaiting the call from Matt. Hunk lay asleep, his arm curled around Lance’s shoulders as he too, slept. Pidge was tapping away at a tablet, furiously trying to sort through the small amount of data she had managed to gather from Zarkon’s ship, trying to find out what happened to Shiro, and hopefully, how they could help him heal. Keith paced, knife twirling between his fingers as he thought. The two Alteans were on the bridge, away from everyone else. 

A beep chimed from the comm at the door. Keith jumped forward to answer it, Pidge looking up from her tablet to lock eyes with Keith. The other two snored on. “Paladins, come in, this is Matt.”

“Copy Matt, both Pidge and I are up. What d’you need?”

“I… I’m not sure. I think Shiro needs you. He’s woken up and… he isn’t doing too well.”

{Pidge and Keith rush off to see shiro and have a cry, shiro gets a hug, and he cries lots. Lots of babbling and sadness and shiro apologising lots and lots to the other paladins for perceived hurt he did unto them}

-+-+-+-

  
  



End file.
